Argue Politics Without Making Everyone Hate You

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June 28, 2017
ARGUE POLITICS

argue politics

We all know about the folks on Facebook who simply must post their political opinions, and then of course someone who feels differently will then proceed to comment and tell them how they’re wrong, which naturally escalates into an argument, and then 50 million other people will jump in, and so on and so forth. Not to mention Thanksgiving dinner conversations. Dear Aunt Polly will probably call you an awful person for disagreeing or agreeing with the death penalty. And then of course that will be a lovely escalating debate over a plate of dry turkey and “homemade” Cranberry sauce everyone knows came from a can. And then your relatives probably won’t be speaking to each other for at least three months. So this begs the question, how does one argue politics without making everyone hate you? Read on, young grasshopper.

Be respectful of everyone’s opinions.

Just because you disagree, does not make anyone’s opinion less important or valid than your own. Just be respectful.

Ad Hominem? Just don’t.

Ad Hominem. What is that you ask? Simply put- name calling. Calling Uncle Billy Bob a moron, idiot, or worse will not strengthen your argument, nor will it make him inclined to listen to what you have to say. If someone was trying to get you to buy a product, they wouldn’t call you a stupid idiot, because they know you wouldn’t buy their product. Similarly, if you are trying to persuade someone to feel as you do, or argue a certain point, calling them names and insulting their character or intelligence will not endear them to your way of thinking.

Skip the yelling.

Believe it or not, yelling your argument is not going to accomplish anything. Keep your tone respectful and even. Yelling does not make people inclined to listen to what you have to say, and honestly just makes them even angrier. Remain calm. Politics are not worth a heart attack.

Use facts.

You can spout your opinion all day long, but the fact of the matter is, opinions cannot be proved. Facts can. Use them as much as possible. One may be able to dispute the statement “Richard Nixon was the worst president ever.” But mentioning the Watergate Scandal is far less disputable. Watergate happened. There’s proof. It backs up your opinion. It’s easier to argue your views on politics when the facts back you up.

Admit when you are wrong.

If you have clearly been proven to be incorrect on a certain point, just admit it. Humble yourself. You don’t know everything, and you never will. There is absolutely no shame in being wrong sometimes.

If you are uncertain on a topic- concede that.

There is no shame in admitting you lack knowledge on a certain topic. For example, if someone thinks Congress should be smaller and asks your position on this topic, but you don’t know anything about the US government, just concede that you are uninformed on that topic. Otherwise, you’re argument will sound arrogant, be full of opinions, and lack sway with anyone at all. In the words of Abraham Lincoln, “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt.”

Know when to bow out.

If the other person you are arguing with is clearly uninterested in having an intellectual debate where both parties are respectful and knowledgeable, it might be best for you to leave the conversation. When the other person/people start yelling, name-calling, and completely disregarding everything you have to say, even when you have been respectful and factual, that is when you should bow out. Firing back will accomplish nothing but causing you to look just as ignorant as the other person. This will not strengthen your argument. Perhaps you can resume the debate at a later date.

Arguing Politics is fine.

But you don’t have to make everyone hate you. Exercise these tips to strengthen your political debates, as well as arguments in general!

Y’all have a great day!

-Abbi

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How To Get Your Life Together When It’s Falling Apart

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June 4, 2017
get your life together

get your life togetherHey y’all! I hope everyone is having a lovely Sunday! Today I just thought I would post some life tips for the stressed out folks (and for everybody else.) If you’re anything like me, you probably have massive struggles with stress, anxiety, and frustration when life feels chaotic. These are a few things that have really helped me feel like my life is under control, even when it is far from being in control.

Cry it out.

Sometimes life just frustrates you beyond all belief. And all you want to do is cry, scream, and throw things. So do it. Just go ahead and get it out of your system. Sob. Scream. Hit something. Break a dinner plate… Whatever you need to do, just go ahead and do it. *Within reason.

Clean your space.

Sometimes, when we feel like everything is falling apart and our life is totally out of control, it’s because we haven’t taken care to keep our space clean and organized. Whether it’s your bedroom, apartment, dorm, or house, if there’s dishes in the sink, or clothes on the floor, or a month-old chip bag under your bed (no judgement), when your area is out of order, you feel out of order. The key here is to get that stuff under control. TRUST ME ON THIS ONE. Just go clean until your space shines bright like a diamond.

Go workout.

Chances are, you feel out of control because you haven’t been keeping up with your health. Believe it or not, when you are not exercising regularly, it can make your body exceptionally draggy and low energy. (Once again. Been there done that. Trust me.) ¬†Which will make you feel stressed and anxious when you don’t feel you have the energy to do the things you need to do. Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. And happy people are more likely to have their lives together. They just are. So go take your dog for a walk, or join a yoga class, or dance to whatever is on the radio. Just get your body moving. It will thank you! *Psst… exercise can also help those who are struggling with depression!

Get some rest.

Ah, yes. The ole’ sleep deprivation. When you haven’t slept, you can’t think properly. You feel low energy. These can make you feel like your entire life is spinning out of control and that you’re powerless to do anything about it. (But you’re not powerless…) So go take a nap. It can be 15 minutes, or 3 hours, whatever you need, or however long you can spare. But sleep can do wonders on your stress levels. *It might be worth mentioning that perhaps it would be a good idea to look into going to bed earlier as well, if you tend to stay up until 5 a.m. every night…

Don’t binge, but don’t starve yourself either.

Speaking as someone who struggles with eating disorders, stress can make them rear their ugly heads again. You don’t want that. If you struggle with eating disorders, or even if you don’t, it can be very tempting to binge, restrict, or purge all over again when life gets stressful. But DO NOT DO IT. It will not fix your problems, you will not feel better, and it will only restart the cycle that you have been diligently fighting. So please take care of yourself. Cook yourself a healthy meal, and eat reasonable portions, and know that you are taking care of your body by eating this way. Practice self-love y’all.

Get a planner.

Life can also feel like insanity when you have a lot going on and no clear planning system. For example, you know you have ten meetings today, but you have no clue what time. It will make your life so much simpler if you will purchase a planner and write down EVERY SINGLE thing you need to do. This way, you will feel organized, and (bonus points) walking around with a planner will make you look super organized.

Practice deep breathing.

Sometimes you just get anxious. It happens to everyone at some point, but you can’t let yourself spiral into panic attack territory. Just close your eyes, take some deep breaths from your diaphragm, and just relax. Go to your happy place. Everything will be okay eventually, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.

Life is difficult, but you don’t have to feel like you’re losing your mind. Speaking from experience, just give these steps a try, and I’m willing to bet things will start feeling much easier!

Have a fabulous and unstressful day!

-Abbi

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Forgiving When You Didn’t Get An Apology

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May 15, 2017
forgiving

forgivingForgiving is a tricky thing. Forgiving becomes even more difficult when you didn’t get an apology.

There are some folks in the world that really could not care less about you. They will stab you in the back, and throw you out like a used tissue. What hurts even more is that you thought they cared about you. The realization that they don’t, and probably never did, really hurts. So you get sad. And you probably sob for a solid hour. After that, you’re just angry. You want to lash out, make them hurt like they hurt you. Deep down, you know you should forgive them. You can’t help but wonder, why should I forgive when they never showed any repentance in the first place?

What you are going through might be preparing you to help someone else in the future.

I choose to believe that the struggles we go through in life are preparing us to aid someone else in the future. When you connect all the dots, everything we do in life relates to our relationships with other people. Therefore, even our struggles have a link to helping others. You may meet someone years down the road who is drowning in the same problems you were forced to deal with. Maybe the purpose of your struggle was to teach you how to help that person. Maybe you are struggling with depression, or betrayal. Keep up the fight. You never know who will need you in the future.

Staying angry will do nothing more than make you bitter.

Anger is a completely natural response. However, holding on to that anger will slowly kill you from the inside out. Trust me, I’ve been there. After being stabbed in the back so many times by people whom I thought were friends, I was so angry. I held on to that anger far longer than I should have, and it sent me spiraling into eating disorders and depression. Learning to let go, and forgive, saved me in the end. It pulled me out of that depression, and showed me that we don’t have to let the way people treat us define who we are as human beings. Yes, it’s okay to be angry, but don’t unpack and live there.

Karma is the best revenge.

What goes around comes around. Trust me on this one. Did someone stab you in the back? Give it time.

Sometimes people don’t come into your life to stay.

Yeah, you get attached to people. Then, you can’t imagine your life without them. Soon thereafter, they ditch you like yesterday’s fashion trends, and you’re left there holding the smoldering ashes of your relationship. That sort of thing really hurts. But I am here to tell you that sometimes people just don’t come into your life to stay. I think, more often than not, they come into your life to teach you a lesson, or to teach you something about yourself. Maybe you needed to learn how to trust, or how to recover when that gets broken. Maybe you needed to learn how to be yourself. No matter how bad it hurts, just think of all the new things the experience has taught you.

Your struggles will make you a stronger person.

Everything you are going through, is fortifying your character. Do you struggle with forgiving? Maybe this situation will make you more quick to forgive. Do you have difficulties with patience and understanding? Maybe this will give you understanding and increase your patience with others. Character must be developed over time, and the only way for that to happen is trial by fire. It can be an extremely painful process, but it is necessary nonetheless.

Go forth and be forgiving.

In summary, forgiving is hard. But you simply must keep in mind that these struggles are preparing you for the future. It is also crucial to remember that holding on to anger is only going to put you through more hurt in the end. People will eventually get what is coming to them in the end. People don’t always come into your life to stay forever. Most importantly, these struggles are improving your character. Trials can be difficult, but the pain and the struggle will eventually lead you to the light at the end of the tunnel. Forgiving is the first step to getting there.

Go forth and be forgiving!

-Abbi